The question to ask yourself is can you resist a film titled Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter? I could not. Timur ladles on his brand of special effect soup and it’s all pleasant enough, but there is nothing as interesting as the efforts that brought the director to our attention in the first place. Also, due mainly to some weak make-up work, they’ve made the 50+ Abe look like a giant hobbit. That said, the film is still called what it is called and features a chin strap beard whirling axe combo in what seems like every single scene. And you can’t beat that sort of bang for your buck.
It’s called Killer Nun what more do you need to know? It’s nonsensical, beautifully deranged and likely to offend those of delicate humour, which are the reasons why I love it.
If you ever wondered about whether Shakespeare did or didn’t write all those amazing plays of his then Anonymous is for you. If nothing else the possibility and plausible explanation of why this scenario might have come about does makes for a good yarn. That is once you’ve figured out who everyone is and why they’re important to the plot, something the film doesn’t make very clear. It instead decides to assume that the viewer has scholarly levels of knowledge regarding playwrights of the time and major political/royal individuals. Pocket histories were reached for. Nevertheless the confusion was exiled by about the midway point and one can sit back and enjoy some quality actors, doing some quality work in some quality costumes.
God Bless America is contradictory. It bemoans the mean and selfish mainstream culture that has the western world finding ever more base spectacles under the moniker of ‘entertainment’ before allowing the moral figures of the piece to unleash the meanest of actions straight back at those that perpetrate the aforementioned waves of shite. But contradictory in the context of this film doesn’t matter. It’s kind of the point.
This film is what happens when those that don’t buy into the force feeding of the mindless ‘popular’ finally give up. It is the wet, violent fantasy of the angelic side of society. Those fucks you politely ignore that chat through the movie… Bang, bang. Rattle your fucking sweet wrappers now. Oh yes, this is an ode to those that make things OK. It is respite and a reminder to not give up.
Super is sort of cool. What it lacks in sense and story is compensated for well with graphic violence, Juno playing a kid sidekick and comic book sentiments, plus Liv Tyler and Michael Rooker are in it!
Chris Sarandon is in Safe. This is about the only thing that makes this Statham vehicle distinguishable from any of the others. I’m sure Jase used to be a decent actor. Is he still? Who knows? Do we care? All questions I presume will be answered when Hollywood suits stop offering massive wads of cash to kick people in the chops. Until then…
Bleak doesn’t even come close to describing the tale told in Snowtown. Being based on actual events too means this is a tough watch. Artistry is apparent from all involved, but be warned this is depressing stuff and there’s not a smidgen of glamorisation. Kangaroo lovers, look away now…
I loved Cabin In The Woods so much I watched twice in a week. It’s clever, thematically interesting, excessively gory and so appreciative of the genre tropes it plays with. By far the best horror film I’ve seen this year.
The opening of Prometheus is awesome. No I mean the very beginning, the panoramas that promise scope, scale and wonder… Then the rest of the film happens. It looks great, but there is little to the plot and what there is feels conflated and only vaguely makes sense as it tries so hard to be profound. Tension battles with tedium all the way through as the pay-offs fall consistently short of expectation. And why oh why change the alien?! This flick feels like meddling for the sake of meddling, and as if it had masses cut out, for better or worse we’ll not know until they push the director’s cut on us…
What I didn’t expect was for Julia’s Eyes to be genuinely fucking creepy. It feels like a story you’ve definitely seen before, excuse the lame pun, but thanks to Belén it’s better than that. The fridge scene is massively predictable and brilliant all at once, a sure sign that something good is going on.